More primary bloopers

I might need to make the 'primary bloopers' our new Sunday night special. At church today the kids were making little thank you cards to give to family members they were grateful for. I found Adam's card a few minutes ago. He had colored all over the card but his teacher had written the card for him as he dictated it to her:
"Thank you to Penny and Sally for doing silly tricks and making me laugh."
Keep in mind that our guinea pigs are actually a step down from stuffed animals because they poop. There are no tricks going on what-so-ever in that stinky cage. And we're still pretty sure that Penny is not even a pig but a retarded groundhog. So, Adam, dear child of mine, when you're thinking of people to whom you might want to express gratitude, your chances of going to get a treat at Maverik would totally increase if you would mention the woman who carried TWO BABIES in her womb for 8 months, who prepares and feeds 3 kids several times daily, feeds 3 pets several times a day, who cleans, does laundry, plays endless games of Mickey Mouse vampire. It would do you well to remember your mother.....or Penny and Sally might get fed a little rat poison.....

Good golly Miss Molly!

I know that there are many of you who have been skeptical of my abilities when it comes pet ownership. I would be among the doubters myself. I've always loved dogs. My first dog, Maggie the basset hound, would sleep in my bed with me when I was at my dad's house. Then there was Lily the basset hound, then Bonnie the basset hound. When Eric and I were engaged we got a yellow lab, Kyle. The trouble with these dogs is that I never got to keep them. For one reason or another (not blaming my parents) all these dogs went on to have other owners. So I convinced myself that I am not a pet person. I didn't even like to get cozy with neighbors pets. I was a damaged dog lover destined to never love again.
For the last two years, like a dieter reading cookie labels, I combed the newspaper ads looking at all kinds of dogs. Then it hit me - I have kept three kids alive for a few years now. We're ready for a pet. Not quite a dog, but maybe something small...like a hamster. I could do that!
After Lola the hamster's tragic demise with a hand sanitizer bath (thank you Luke and Adam), I didn't think we were cut out for pets. But a couple of months later we decided to try again with a guinea pig, Penny.
Penny seemed like a good pet for the stay-in-a-cage variety. But after a couple of months it became obvious that something was a little off. First of all, she never makes any noise at all. Second, she doesn't really move either. You could take her out of her cage, set her in the middle of the room, go to church, come home and she'd still be in the exact same place. As my brother in-law would say, "she's not a guinea pig, she's a retarded groundhog!" In Penny's defense, I'm sure it was my kids that made her the way she is. At one point, I was trying to convince myself that my kids hadn't given Penny shaken pig syndrome and that maybe she was lonely.....so we got Sally.
Sally is the polar opposite of Penny. She will whistle when you walk into the room or if she wants food. And when they're out of water, she'll bang that water bottle against the cage over and over and over and over till you get them more water. Sally will laugh when you tickle her, which kind of sounds like a cat purring. Sally has enough personality to make up for Penny's lack thereof.
(Stay with me, I'm going to make a point eventually.) Other than Penny's probable brain damage, we have kept the guinea pigs alive and quite happy for several months.
My confidence was up the weekend we finally got Molly the wiener dog. We are now a three pet family! Other than a trip to the vet yesterday for a sugar-induced seizure (who knew dogs aren't supposed to eat Halloween candy?), all is well. Molly is crate trained and puts up with a lot of craziness with the kids and me mauling her. I feel like our family is entering a new stage. It's exciting.
And I will tell you that dogs are much easier to potty train than little boys!

Primary Bloopers

This year the primary children have been learning "Called to Serve".
The acutal words are 'called to serve Him, Heavenly King of Glory'
Adam has been singing: "Called to service every time the phone rings."

They've also been studying the Word of Wisdom. Their teacher was going over things that can be harmful to our bodies when Luke raised his hand and said, very self-righteously, "I don't drink coffee but my brother does."