gogans

My boys have a freak obsession with all things creepy. So what's better than going to a skeleton doctor? This little guy sits on one of the desks at Adam's orthopedic surgeon's office.

Adam had a routine check-up and all is well with his scoliosis. He's starting to think it's really fun to have pictures taken of his own skeleton. I think Luke gets a little jealous that he doesn't ever get to go, but he'll get over it.

I had a friend in my last neighborhood who always used the term 'gogan' to describe her kids when they looked a little sloppy (being unpolitically correct 'white trash'). I wasn't ever quite sure if that word was some kind of slur that I didn't know, so I've never used it...until now. My kids are downright gogan!! (please let me know if this actually is offensive - I really don't know for sure) I'm so sick to death of messy hair, snotty noses and dusty clothes!! Since I can't cut off their noses, I cut off their hair! Shaved it, to be exact. Now my snotty, dusty boys are running around looking like little cancer patients. But at least they're in good company. They've adopted a triplet, Riley. Don't they look like they could all be brothers?

Adam, Luke and Riley

R.O.U.S.

Buttercup: "What about the R.O.U.S.s?"

Wesley: "Rodents of unusual size? I don't think they exist."

Remember that little conversation from The Princess Bride? Well it wouldn't be much of a stretch to think of our house as the Fire Swamp because we are the proud owners of our very own rodent of unusual size. Meet Penny the pig. Guinea pig, to be exact.

And for all you pessimists out there who think the Wimmers can't keep an animal alive longer than 11 days (like Lola the hamster), I'll have you know that we've had Penny at our house for almost 6 weeks without incident. I wanted to make sure that she could stand the test of time before I shared all of this on my blog. I didn't want any of you to report us to the Humane Society for testing out hand sanitizer on our previous pet.

While we're reminiscing about Lola and her very sad demise, I have a funny story for you. Apparently, on Easter Sunday my boys decided to tell their primary class about Lola. I wasn't there so I'm not sure who said what, but they told their class that they killed Lola by putting soap all over her. It was actually hand sanitizer, but I guess there isn't really a difference when you're three years old. Anyway, they told them that they killed her but when Jesus comes again he'll bring her with him and she'll live again! And how appropriate that it was Easter. Poor, poor Lola. Good luck to you, Penny.

Odds and ends

Cameron is becoming increasingly Miley Cyrus obsessed. She spends hours a day on her microphone and practicing her dance moves. I couldn't be more grateful that she's a terrible dancer (she must be my daughter). I know I'm a little bit crazy, but the whole dance thing with little girls freaks me out. She does love music so we bought her a key board and she's going to start taking piano lessons. We'll discuss getting an actual piano if she sticks with it.

Cameron also loves to take pictures and as luck would have it, I love to pose for pictures for her! She was getting so mad because I kept pulling faces right as the picture would take. Aren't I a compliant model?

Oh my sweet Luke. Luke has been a hard kid for me because he's just not as warm and fuzzy as Cameron and Adam. Cam and Adam were just born happy and eager to please. This is not the case with my Lukie. I've been really focusing lately on how I can turn him around and make him adore me. I have spent hours chatting with him and telling him how fabulous he is.

The other day, a spring hale storm had started so I sat down on the floor and pulled Luke onto my lap to watch it. He resisted until I stared telling him that when he was a baby I would hold him, love him, kiss him and he would just let me. He looked up at me with those sleepy eyes and said, "tell me more." So I did and he fell asleep right there in my arms.

You know those redneck jokes "you know you're a redneck when..."? Well, you know you're a mommy when your three year-old falls asleep in your arms, pees on you in his sleep and you just sit there because the moment is too priceless. Yup, the below picture is Luke asleep and me drenched in urine (luckily you can't see the urine).

Disclaimer about the picture: Luke's face has face paint from his 'un'birthday party at school. I know it looks like I beat him into submission, but I didn't.

And last, but certainly not least, the dentist. Ah, the dentist! I am well aware that most kids and adults hate going to the dentist. Not in our family (minus Eric). For us, it is like a trip to the spa! What's better than reclining chairs and TVs in the ceiling? I want that setup in my house! Just think of all the things I could get done with my kids half comatose. Below is Adam watching Nemo.

No cavities!! Once again, proof that brushing has nothing to do with it.

top ten

Eric has started traveling again recently. For my own safety from all you 'blog stalkers' I don't post much about him being gone, but that doesn't mean that I don't miss him every day. It's hard to have him working from home, but much harder to have him traveling. I've been working on a great top ten list of things I miss about Eric:

TOP TEN LIST OF THINGS I MISS ABOUT ERIC

10. Not having someone help me search for my missing glasses once I've already taken out my contacts before bed.

9. My toaster doesn't get left out on the counter top three times a day.

8. ESPN on tv.

7. "I think someone stole my sunglasses out of my car" (Yeah right, I'm sure you didn't just misplace them...)

6. The NFL theme song as a ring tone.

5. ESPN on the Internet.

4. The towel hung over the shower door instead of on the hook.

3. General Ericisms like "you're hot" "you do" "I didn't invent toots".

2. "Have you seen my wallet?"

1. The singing. Eric is ALWAYS singing. Not in a serious way, but at the top of his lungs! Sometimes I crave the quiet stillness, but when he's out of town I miss his songs with all the words wrong.

I love you Eric!!!

Why do these things only happen to ME??

I have no idea if anyone reads this anymore. I have totally lost steam for blogging. But I have a truly 'Laurie' story for y'all. (All my bunco ladies insisted that I post about it.)
Tonight we had bunco at Heather's house. Her birthday was yesterday and we decided to have a little bit of a birthday surprise for her. Julie and Deidre had worked on a yummy dessert for her and were busy cooking when I called to see if I could help out with anything. They asked if I could pick up some balloons and I assured them that I would have plenty of time. I said I'd meet them at Heather's house and we'd all go inside together, balloons in hand, to surprise her.
I was feeling entirely too proud of myself that I had remembered the balloons and hadn't popped a single one of them. They were stored in the trunk of the car because, let's all face it, what is worse than driving around with balloons in the car?
We pulled up in Heather's driveway where all our friends were waiting. I got out of the car and popped the trunk and instead of the trunk just unlatching and waiting for me to open it (the way it has always worked),the trunk flew open and away went the balloons!!! Yup, we all stood there and watched as they peacefully floated away. Laughing our heads off, of course.
My first thought was that I should go bang on Heather's door and make her watch them float away, just so she could see that I did actually bring them. Then I was terrified to think that all my friends know I just can't be counted on for anything. Kind of like 'the dog ate my homework' excuse. Can't you just see me trying to explain..."I promise I brought some balloons, but the wind was blowing..."
I also have to mention that Heather is probably the most organized, thoughtful, prepared woman I have ever met. Even tonight, the day after her busy birthday, she hosted bunco, prepared a FABULOUS meal with dessert, had amazing prizes for everyone there (not just the winners) and she'd done all of this with her back thrown out!! I can't even bring some measly balloons to a party. And for the record: If my back ever goes out, I will be in bed on drugs and certainly not hosting ANYTHING!
There is a perfect balance to my life. If something goes right, something is bound to go wrong. No matter what I do, even my best intentions fall flat. It is really starting to bother me that I'm getting a reputation as being a flake, because I hate flaky people. You can call it bad luck. Call it karma. Call it whatever you want, just remember this the next time I offer to help you with anything.

College Football

I always love to listen in on conversations Cameron has with her friends. Mason (Paige's son) is particularly hilarious because he has a FREAK obsession with sports and Cameron is always pretending along with him. I went upstairs a minute ago and her bedroom door was shut so went to try and hear what they were saying.

Mason: "My dad says Air Force is good at handing off. I say 'who isn't good at handing off??'"

Cameron: "Yea, I know."

It took me repeating it back to myself to understand that they were talking about college football. I guess I don't have to worry about closed bedroom doors for a couple more years.