More primary bloopers

I might need to make the 'primary bloopers' our new Sunday night special. At church today the kids were making little thank you cards to give to family members they were grateful for. I found Adam's card a few minutes ago. He had colored all over the card but his teacher had written the card for him as he dictated it to her:
"Thank you to Penny and Sally for doing silly tricks and making me laugh."
Keep in mind that our guinea pigs are actually a step down from stuffed animals because they poop. There are no tricks going on what-so-ever in that stinky cage. And we're still pretty sure that Penny is not even a pig but a retarded groundhog. So, Adam, dear child of mine, when you're thinking of people to whom you might want to express gratitude, your chances of going to get a treat at Maverik would totally increase if you would mention the woman who carried TWO BABIES in her womb for 8 months, who prepares and feeds 3 kids several times daily, feeds 3 pets several times a day, who cleans, does laundry, plays endless games of Mickey Mouse vampire. It would do you well to remember your mother.....or Penny and Sally might get fed a little rat poison.....