Crap. Literally. I've had it up to my eyeballs with with wet and otherwise messy pants. I've been working on this potty training business with the boys for 16 months. Don't believe me? Do the math - since May 2007. I might as well count it as 32 months of potty training because there are two of them!
These darn boys will do fine and not have an accident for a couple of months then out of the blue, completely regress. It goes back and forth between who is able and who....isn't. Lately, it's Adam who is peeing his pants five or six times a day. I figure why put on dry clothes when they're just going to be wet again in five minutes? But then who wants to be around the wet, smelly kid? (Not to mention that having your kid wear soiled clothes is probably a form of child abuse.) Anyway, I've been very lazy for the last month or so with the whole process. In my defense, I needed to lower my blood pressure for a while to avoid potty-accident-cardiac-arrest.
Starting yesterday, I've stepped it up a notch. The new rule is that if you 'go' anywhere other than a toilet, you get a cold shower. Freezing cold. The coldest water my house has to offer. I thought it would just take a time or two and problem solved. I'm not sure if the joke is on me or them.....you could safely (and correctly) assume that I have the cleanest kids on the block now. Adam got two cold showers yesterday and four today. Luke got three showers today. My own hands are raw and smell like Lever 2000.
I normally don't solicit parenting advice (because I like to think I know what's best for my kids better than anyone else does), but I am BEGGING for any morsel of potty training wisdom! Please help me! What do I do now? Am I scarring my kids for life? Am I not being harsh enough? And how in the crap (pun intended) do I know the difference?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Oh crap
Posted by Laurie at Tuesday, August 12, 2008
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19 comments:
Braden has started doing that too! I think you just have to realize you're not really in charge. They have total control. I'd tell you to make them sit in it but then you would have to suffer. Just give up. Maybe someone will tease them when they're in high school wearing pullups and they'll figure it out on their own. Potty training sucks!
I have no room to offer advice as my kids take well over a year to potty train as well. It is SO frustrating. Boston has done the whole do good, then regress thing too and it makes me crazy because I know he's capable. What has worked with Boston is not freaking out when he has an accident because if he thinks I'm mad at him, he just does it more and more. I TRY and stay calm and say, that's too bad Bos, let's get you changed. It sounds weird and each kid is different but that has worked for us (sometimes!). Also, make them clean up the pee themselves- then go back after and clean it up yourself when they aren't watching so it's not smelling like pee forever. Who knows the right answer???
Okay - I am commenting anonymously because I don't want to embarrass my kid. BUT, but my six - and - a - half - year - old has started popping in his pants! My goodness, he is going into 1st grade. He will come around me and I can just smell it; I will check his underpants and there it is - poop in the undies. I don't get mad, I just make him wash his underwear in the toilet and then make him clean up and get new clothes on. At least it isn't a huge amount - but more than the infamous boy "smear". Right now I am trying to tell him that no matter how cool he is, kids won't want to play with him if he stinks. Will this work? I don't know. I sure hope so, I really do want him to have friends.
Have you tried rewards, you know like toys if they go in the toilet? I'm kidding, sorry.
That stinks (really), especially with 2 of them! It took about 6 months with Johnny and I had about had it at that point, so I can't imagine 16 months! Yikes! Maybe what "annie miller" said isn't such a bad idea. Just give up; put them back in diapers for a while, give yourself (and them) a break and start from scratch in a few months. But then again, that will drag it out even longer and also means you will be back to changing diapers. Someone should really start a potty training camp where you could send your kids away for a few weeks and they come back potty trained...good idea me!
Sorry I didn't have much advice when you called. It's hard to do the positive reinforcement if nothing motivates them. What if you took away "playing with friends" until he went a whole day with out an accident? Like I said, the cold shower didn't work for us. Just don't torture yourself. Good luck!!
I am sorry! That really sucks. Fortunately when the times comes for me to potty train, you will have all the wisdom!!
((((HUGS))))) Sorry you are going through this! Maybe call Super Nanny, she seems to have all the solutions.
I have no advice whatsoever to give. Laila is turning 3 on Saturday and absolutely refuses to potty train. I even told her my nephew goes on the potty and she said, "Yep, I not." Great. I'm just mad because it means she can't go to preschool yet.
Have you ever read How TO POtty Train in Under a Day? It's worked for us! What's your prob!!! They just want you to have another baby, then they'll cooperate!
Let me just say that I am crying I am laughing so hard! I can totally empathize...(well not with the time period) Potty Training is the bain of my parenting exisitence. And who said doing it pregnant was a good idea?! Oh...imagine the dry heaves....I wish that I had some magic advice. Tattoos for success seem to be working at my house. Doesn't matter if he looks like a biker dude at 3 years old - right? And I buy all the coolest "unders" and if they get messy - throw them away. He is pretty sad to lose Transformers and Cars unders to the big can outside. Good Luck! Love you to death!
Laurie, you could call customer service at the manufacturer and threaten to send the boys back and get a full refund, if they can't fix the problem.
Grandpa Bob
I love the comment your Grandpa left, let me know if that works ;)
Just keep sticking to it, I think you are doing a great job I hav eno idea how to potty train two at a time. Riley totally regressed and he had no desire to ever try again so I made an appointment with my pediatrician and he talked to him and then he wanted to try again, so maybe hearing it from someone other than Mom and Dad, I don't know. Good Luck!!
No advice from me...it will be a long road with Bode.
My sister was telling me about a lady somewhere in those south states...that guarantees your child to be potty trained in 1 day...1 weeks for someone like the Bodester! I am strongly thinking of sending my child away...;)
When I potty trained my last one, after grinding my teeth at night, and being UBER frusterated with the others...
I gave HER the choice.
Everyday.
We picked out cool undies, and each morning I asked: "Do you want panties, or a diaper?"
And if she had an accident, I would make her go out to the outside garbage to throw the undies away.
(I dug them back out if it was just pee, the poopy ones...well, I figured I was worth the two bucks to never have to wash them.?
If she chose diapers, I just put them on her. But I cinched those things up tight, so they kinda cut into her waist.
I never did pull-ups, they don't "feel" the oogy yucky feeling with those.
It worked for her. (((shrugs)))
Good luck!
Hope it clicks soon.
LOL
So I know I'm not really a "friend" to be offering advice, but I am new in the ward and found your blog off the ward website and just have two ideas that worked for me.
When they have an accident, no talking to them. Put them through the motions of cleaning up their own stuff, taking a cold shower, whatever you normally do but absolutely no talking to them whatsoever. You give them the whole spiel before you start it ("if you have another accident, you are to clean it up yourself, put your dirty things where they go, get in the shower and I will help you a little if you need it, but I will not be talking to you about it at all. If you ask me questions or try to talk to me, I will not talk back. I'm not mad at you, I just don't want to talk about it anymore). You don't act mad or sad - no emotion, just help if they need it. (Sometimes we accidentally reinforce the behavior with emotions or behavior on our part that we don't realize is reinforcing to them). They must always clean up their own messes, including bedding or carpet.
Then, get a jar of their favorite candies (my son's were Jelly Belly candies) and every time they successfully use the bathroom no matter what, even if they just go in to sit and don't go at all, they get one candy. They can earn as many candies as they want, as long as they sit on the toilet for at least 20 seconds or something (not just sit, eat, sit, eat - it has to be nakie for a certain amount of time that you determine). You can also always replace the treat with something healthier like one single piece of a fruit snack or whatever. It must be something they love and would be motivating to them.
Kids regress for a number of reasons and sometimes its just for attention. And in your case, it seems like when one does it the other follows suit to get the same attention.
It's worth a try! When you get to the point you're at, sometimes you're willing to try anything, right? And don't give up if after two days it's not working. All good interventions take at least 5-7 days and usually get worse before it gets better. When you follow through and stick to your end, they are going to stick to theirs. It worked for me! (But everyone's different so don't think I'm an idiot!). :-)
Hey Its Brooke I linked to your blog from Ashleys. Way cute photos. When it comes to potty training two I totally feel your pain. Don't worry they will eventually get the idea. Hopefully sooner than later because if they wait to long they will be wearing depends. Just kidding. Have you tried to potty train just one first and see if the other one follows? Mine would take off their diapers when they were suppose to be napping and dump their poop in the heat vents ... The horror stories we could share. Good Luck!! Brooke (Clark)
Oh.my.word. Reading this post was just brilliant. My 5-yr old boy twins have nearly broken me over potty training (say "broken-broken-broken-gone-gone-broken" like the sea urchin in Surf's Up). Good gracious. We did the cold shower thing (it was actually cold bath splash thing with a wash-yr-own-underpants finale!) Boy. My DH & I had different strategies. Or should I say opposing? All I can say, my dear, is DON'T LOSE HEART and maintain yr sense of humour at all costs. ALL COSTS. Sanity can be bought in a pill. Good luck!
Hugs
Kerry
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