sad

I've had a hard time over the last couple of months. You know that saying 'be careful what you wish for because you might just get it all'? It's been slowly dawning on me that perhaps I got most of what I set out to get. Growing up, all I ever wanted to do was get married, move to a house with a big yard (maybe we didn't quite get the yard I had in mind) and have lots of babies. I wanted to be able to check the box that said "homemaker" when asked about my employment status. This was the goal all along. I've been darting around town with my hubby, puppy and babies in our minivan in suburbia thinking I'd already arrived.
Last fall my gynecologist called and informed that I had pre-cancerous cervical cells. After a few months of tests and waiting and more tests and more waiting I had a hysterectomy last Monday. I had no idea just how hard this whole thing was going to be.
Then a letter arrived from the elementary school informing me of the registration information I need to prepare so the boys could start Kindergarten in the fall. I obviously have known for years now when they would begin school but it just hit me in the gut that my baby boys will ride the bus and be gone half the day. Cameron will be gone the entire day and the boys will be gone 4 hours a day. Normally there would be some sort of celebration with caffeine involved but I'm still feeling sad.
My days of having crazy toddlers to entertain are going too fast now. I want time to stop and just stay here because I never planned beyond this part. Even though we've been through our struggles, I truly believe that I've gotten everything and I'm so grateful. But now I need a new wish, dream, goal or inspiration. What should I do now?