Self portriat gone bad

Okay! I get it. For some reason I don't photograph looking anything like myself. Sorry to scare you all - apparently I am not one of those talented photographers. In my defense, I was taking pictures of myself, early on a Sunday morning.

I guess Victoria Beckham won! Can anyone get me her hair stylist's number?? (and then get him to follow me around all day, every day to keep it up?)