A little family history

I had to take Adam in to see his orthopedic surgeon today for his annual check-up. It's amazing to me that still, every time I walk into Primary Children's Hospital, it brings back a flood of raw emotions. I'm like one of Pavlov's dogs only instead of salivating, my blood pressure creeps up a few notches and I'm near tears.

We've come such a long way from where we were two summers ago. Adam was born with what genetics specialists call mid-line malformadies. He had a cleft lip and some spinal abnormalities. He had his first surgery when he was three months old (finally 10 pounds) to fix his lip and two hernias. By the time he was a year old, he couldn't sit or stand or support his weight in any way so his pediatrician decided that it was time to start investigating. We took him to geneticists, a neurologist, an endocrinologist, an orthopedic surgeon and let's not forget the two surgeons who had already operated on him. All of these doctors were incredibly thorough, which I am grateful for. But this also meant tests and tests and more tests. And because Luke and Adam are identical twins - Luke had to do several of the tests too.

Luke checked out fine on everything. Adam had a few concerning things with his growth hormones, his congenital scoliosis and an MRI found that he had sustained brain damage from lack of oxygen to the brain before he was even born. I'm not sure words can describe how devastating all of this was for me. The doctors weren't sure if he'd ever progress from where his development had stalled at about the mentality of a 4 month old baby. It all just felt like too much! I was trying my best to take care of Adam, but there was a two year old Cameron and Luke to take care of too!

***And I totally forgot to mention that both Luke and Adam had Torticollis (a development problem with the neck) which led to Plageocephaly (flat heads) and they both had to wear those awesome helmets for a few months each. I just couldn't leave that out because we were constantly driving back and forth to physical therapy and the helmet maker place for fittings. And let's not forget how hideously ugly those things are. (Yea, Missy, I haven't forgotten.) And all the fighting with the insurance company to pay for these things...and all the bills...

I promise that I'm coming to a point here - not just throwing a pity party.

Needless to say I was maxed out emotionally. I was completely wrapped up in myself and my kids and felt overwhelmed beyond belief. Then one day in December 2005 I was taking Adam back to Primary Children's Hospital for another appointment when I noticed something peculiar. As I was walking down the hall I started noticing other kids in the hospital. They were all over the place, laying in wagons with a tower of tubes and IVs hanging all over them. Lots of kids had bald little heads from their chemo treatments and they were so frail. And here's the amazing part....there were moms there with them and they looked even more tired than I felt. It sounds ridiculous, I know, that I had never really noticed the other patients and moms before. Suddenly flat heads didn't feel like the earth-shattering catastrophe that I'd made it out to be. These moms were hoping their little ones would make it to their next birthday and here I was hoping my son didn't have to wear a dorky helmet.

Now when I go to the hospital I take every opportunity I can to smile at the other moms and especially the kids. It will always be humbling to me to go there. Like I was telling Cameron the other day about running a race, "there will always be someone faster than you and there will always be someone slower, just keep going."